Me angsting about lists - feel free to ignore my navel-gazing

[snowgall]

So as many of you may know, I've previously posted lists of "Best Drarry Fics of the Year" for 2007-2014. In fact, those were some of the very first posts I ever made to this blog. It's more-or-less why I started this blog, as I was all in a tizzy about properly dating fanfics, and I felt that organizing rec lists by year of publication was one way to make some use of the data I had been gathering up to that point.

I still feel that way, and I still like making rec lists, but this year it will be SO HARD. When I posted all of those other lists, I was really new to fandom. I hardly knew anybody, especially not authors! Making the lists was an objective exercise for mostly my own enjoyment. But now I know so many lovely people in the HP fandom. Which means creating and posting my list for 2015 makes me feel incredibly anxious and concerned about which fics might get left off.

Because oh my god, some fics will get left off! By my count, I've recced 93 Drarry fics this year, between my LJ blog and hd_storyroom. And the number of fics I included in each of my previous "Best of the Year" lists was always less than 30! Part of the reason is that I simply read more fics in 2015 than I have in any previous years, which means I know of so many more good ones to rec. So my 2015 list will be longer than my previous ones, but I don't want it to be ridiculous. I think I've settled on ~36 fics I want to have on the list, and that's about as low as I can go.

So this is a long-winded way of saying that I'll be posting my list later tonight or tomorrow, and there will be lots of good fics that aren't included, and I already feel awful about that. In the end the list is just an arbitrary thing based on one person's no doubt flawed opinion. It says nothing about the quality of any fics not on it.

Comments

[eidheann_writes]

This may be something that totally does't work for you...

But maybe renaming what you CALL the lists will make things easier? Because 'year best' sounds more objective than "favorite of the year" or whatnot. But as the lists ARE arbitrary and you are making them as a personal favorite kind of rec list, maybe a rename will make the worry a bit less?

(Everyone has favorites. Everyone has friends. Friends and favorites don't always line up. I think every writer and reccer has faced that. No one will hold it against you.)

[gracerene]

I agree w/ Eidheann that "My Favorite Fics in 2015" sounds much more personal and subjective than "Best Fics of 2015" which has sort of an implication of objectivity. Perhaps a wording change might make you feel better about it? Totally up to you, and I totally know what you mean. It's defintiely different reccing in a fandom once you get to know authors more personally. But I think everybody is pretty cool about realizing that not reccing something does not at all mean you don't like it. Especially when you are trying to keep the # of the fics on your rec list around a certain #.

Super curious to see your choices!

[dicta-contrion.livejournal.com]

Agree with eidheann and gracerene that calling it "Favorite Drarry Fics of 2015" makes it much clearer that this is a subjective list. "The Best" does suggest to me that either some sort of objective criteria was used and this is a list of objectively the best stories or that the reccer is in some sort of especially authoritative position in fandom to be able to make that kind of claim, or is speaking for some larger body (like the H/D Bookshelves, though even those didn't make any claims about featuring the best fics, and that's with ~680 voters for the 2009 one). "The Best" just doesn't leave a lot of room for assuming subjectivity and I'll admit (because I don't think I'm unique in this) that I'd be more hurt/miffed to be left off a list called "The Best" than a list called "My Favorite." Partly because it stings in a different way to be publicly excluded from "the best" than from someone's personal favorites that have to do with their own taste. But partly because of what I think it would suggest to audiences. I can easily imagine fandom newbies going "oh, okay, these authors and fics are the best, this must be common knowledge/truth if someone is saying this so definitively," and that disadvantages authors and stories who get left off and gives newcomers to fandom an inaccurate picture of things.

Refreshed and saw your response to eidheann, and, questioning the search logic. When I search "best drarry fics" (https://www.google.com/search?q=best+drarry+fics) only 2 of the top 10 results make an authorative claim about being a list of the best. My "my top ten drarry fics" is also in the top ten results, as are others that don't use "best." In fact, in the top 20 the only lists other than yours that uses "best" are crowd-sourced on goodreads and reddit, which is a pretty different thing imo. Pretty much the same results when I search "best draco harry fic" (https://www.google.com/search?q=best+draco+harry+fic) - most of what comes up is much more subjectively titled. 17/20 top results don't use "best." So it's absolutely possibly to write rec lists that are more subjectively titled - "my favorite" or "x rec list" - and still gain a wide audience. I don't think, from my own experience with reccing, that people will be less likely to reblog "My Favorite Drarry Fics of 2016." People like and link to and reblog and comment on things that are concise and definitive, but they can be concise, definitive, and own their subjectivity, too.

Though, I'll mea culpa and say that my take on the search results might be biased because, yeah, I don't find the logic very sympathetic. There's a pretty strong fandom norm of saying "these are my favorites" and there are a fair number of reccers around who take that approach. Calling your list "The Best," and calling it that in order to get more hits/the way you describe the process does sound like an intentional strategy to try and make your opinion more widely seen and more authoritative, and to make your opinion on what is or isn't good seem more objective. I understand wanting more hits after the time and energy it takes to make a rec list, but doing that by implying a level of objectivity that isn't/can't be there rubs me the wrong way.

Of course it's ultimately your choice, but if it's something that's giving you anxiety enough to post about it, maybe it's worth reconsidering? It may have been what you went with in the past, but you're the one writing the title. If it's not something that you feel still works for you, or if it gives you pause for whatever reasons, you do have the ability to change it.

[lq-traintracks.livejournal.com]

I feel for you with the whole I-used-to-not-know-you issue! ;-) <3 Fwiw, I'll just say for myself that I don't even remember half of what I write at any given time. I will absolutely NOT take offense at your list! I'd love to see it, of course. But no, no offense if I'm not on it! *hugs*

[birdsofshore]

Aw, snowgall, I can see why this is giving you problems!

First of all, can I say that I personally am OK with whatever, it's your list and you like what you like. That's fine with me.

I must agree, though, after reading the other comments - "THE BEST" does sting more if you're not on there. I don't know why. It just sounds so final. It's not like I think of my fics as "THE BEST" or anything, so I don't know why not being on there sucks more, but it does!

[oakstone730.livejournal.com]

IMHO - any list I see that says *Best* or any other similar phrase (classic, must-read, etc) or even just Recs - I take to be that person's personal *hug to their chest* fics - and nothing more than that. Every reader (ever reccer) is different. When I see a lovely long list of recs from someone new, I usually skim through it and if I see some fics that I have read and enjoyed I then, and only then, look at the other fics on the list. Because I know of the person has liked a fic that I've liked that it is likely I'll find something new and delightful on the list.

As far as my own stories being on a *best of* list or not on a *best of* list - I'm thrilled when a story I wrote is on it but not at all surprised when, as usually is the case, my stories aren't on it. It is okay, there are so many amazing stories out there, not all of them can be recc'd. These lists are personal and I don't take any offence at not making of a *best* of list.