Love reading your advice, Vaysh. I must chip in about the last line. I think it definitely loses the graceful flow it currently has when you break it up like that. I really admired the flow of snowgall's writing here and I think it would be tragic to lose any of that, especially in this last line, which is so joyful and keeps the momentum Harry and Draco build up as they are about to leave the room. I would stick with the original for that reason, although not stylistically correct, or go for the slightly less lovely, "Potter," he says with a laugh, "I'm all in."